Title – Mom

Special Skills:

  • Personal Chef √
  • Taxi Driver √
  • Singer √
  • Dental Hygenist √
  • Jungle Gym √
  • Personal Nurse √
  • Professional Book Reader √
  • Tutor √
  • Ass-Wiper √
  • Piggy Bank √
  • Packing Mule ?

Today Monster J and I made an impromtu trip to the mall – shocking, I know – to do some light Christmas shopping. I didn’t have the stroller with me, so I rented one of those cool kiddy krusier thingys. We do our shopping, then it’s time to go home for lunch. Shit. No stroller means I have to CARRY EVERYTHING to the car. So here’s how it goes down:

right shoulder – purse and diaper bag

right hip – baby

right hand – keys

left arm – 4 shopping bags

left hand – coffee

left ear – cell phone

Sweet Jeebus. Someone please smack me next time I get the bright idea to go to the mall by myself with no stroller. Ugh.

1 Comment »

  1. Joe Said:

    I love those trips. As a dad I get ladies streaming up to help hold my little ones, grab a bag or just lend a hand. I guess they figure I am incompetent to some degree, but I just hate strollers. I take advantage of their kindness of course as any thinking person should.


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