Frustration and Sadness, With a Side of Tears

Monster J is sick, again. I am so tired, and scared, and frustrated, and sad, and did I mention tired? The doctors said yes he sick (uh duh), but they don’t know what exactly he’s sick with. He tested negative for strep and flu, but his throat and tonsils are severely inflamed, not to mention his fever of almost 103 last night. They told us that if his fever continues to spike this high that he could go into seizures. J has a huge lineup of medicines he is taking, so hopefully he will be normal, or at least on the road to back to normal, soon.

I am so scared and helpless, and my heart aches for him. I wish I could take this sickness for him so he doesn’t have to suffer. I am at work now, but everytime my mind wanders over to him (about every 2 seconds or so) I just want to cry, and sometimes I do. This is not some life-threatening sickness, but he is so pathetic right now that it’s heartbreaking to watch. Nothing calms him down, not even his puppies. He just cries, and cries, and cries, and did I mention the crying? A little piece of me dies inside with every moan, cry and tear. I just wish I could make it better.

My Kid, The Mechanic


My dad and his wife, Anessa, bought this shirt for Monster J and sewed on the patches to make him his very own Grease Monkey shirt. They then let J have his way with my dad’s racecar. This was their Christmas present to us. Brilliant – I love it!

I’m back! Aren’t you excited?


It has been a hellish couple of weeks. You might be wondering what I’ve been up to… or maybe you don’t really care. Well I’m gonna tell you anyway.  So there. Ha!

I went part-time at work so I can help Phatboy out at the shop a few hours a week. It’s been hard adjusting to that, since the way that we act towards each other at work is completely different than any other time; he is technically now “my boss”. I have to say, I don’t really care for that  much, but I’m sure once we get into the groove of working together the situation will get better. Or maybe we’ll just end up killing each other. Who knows?

Christmas was crazy, as it always is, but we all had a really great time with our families. Monster J got way too much crap, but I saw that one coming from miles away. Daddy built Monster J a really awesome toy-box, completely from scratch, out of oak wood. It is beautiful, and I cried when they brought it over. Phatboy and I also received a surprise present from Daddy and Anessa, but more on that later – it deserves it’s own post. Momma got Monster J a pint-sized vacuum, broom, mop and other cleaning supplies, which he absolutely loves. He won’t put the vacuum down. If only it really worked… that would be a dream come true. I got a digital photo frame from Nana, and Momma got a memory stick for it and loaded lots of pictures of the Monster onto it. We got loads of other stuff, way too much to list, but thank you to everyone for all of our Christmas presents – we loved them all! Oh yeah – I got tons of gift cards to STARBUCKS! YIPEE!

New Year’s Eve sucked major ass. Phatboy, Wowee and I went to my new favorite club while Nana watched Monster J at my house. Just after midnight Nana called to say that the police called about a break-in at the shop. We drove out there to find some stupid punks had thrown a rock thru the front door but thankfully didn’t steal anything. Phatboy and his brother put up wood over the door, and we didn’t get home until almost 3am. Happy freakin’ New Year.

All is back to normal now. Yesterday the bestest sister-in-law ever came over to my house to help clean up Christmas Hell, aka my office, so now I can actually walk in there without falling flat on my face. That is all for now.

P.S. – I dunno what’s up with that picture looking all crazy – it’s actually really cute.

P.S.S. – Keep a look out for upcoming posts with more on Christmas and hopefully pictures.

Thanksgiving and Monster J

I know this seems like a really late post, but the subject has just recently hit home so bear with me. Thanksgiving for me has always been more about just seeing my family – not so much about being thankful for all that we have. My uncle always says a prayer before the meal and we hold hands and bow our heads. While I am thankful for my life and my family, I am not a religious person, unlike the rest of my family who are very much into their religion and faith.

Recently I stumbled across a website which tells the heart-breaking story of a toddler who lost her life to cancer.  This family, like me, lives here in Dallas, and the hospital she was in is only a few miles away from my house. I spent a good while reading this family’s story and the articles that were published in Dallas Morning News about them.

Far too often I read and hear people saying they just wish their ill-behaved children would leave them alone, or give them a break. The parents say they wish they could just have one day to themselves with no children or interruptions. But what if you lost all that? What would you give to have all that back, even if for only five minutes with your precious child again?

So I am thankful. I am thankful for my family, my husband, the roof over my head, the clothes on my body, the food on my table. Most of all I am thankful for my son and all the ways he has changed my life for the better. I am thankful for every cry, every tear, every scream, every sleepless night, every bang on the door while I’m in the bathroom. I am thankful for every smile, every laugh, every hug, every kiss.

I love you, my baby boy. You have given me so much in ways you’ll never know. Thank you.


Wrapping Gifts + _____ = Happy Toddler

womanscreaming.jpg This would be me (not really me, but a good idea of what I look like while trying to wrap Christmas presents). Monster J will not leave me alone when it comes to Christmas presents. Is this you, too? Well then, you’re in luck!

crazyjulian.jpg Notice the demented look on his face? If you’re in the same boat as me, luckily I’ve devised a brilliant method to fix this teeny tiny problem.

ducttape.jpg Ok, ok so this isn’t really my idea per se, but you know whatever. (I think this is actually called an Arkansas time out.) But this is very similar to my idea.

scotchtape.jpg I have discovered the secret weapon, to getting a few minutes of peace to keep away monkeys children. Just one roll of scotch tape and it’s instant entertainment. Brilliant, I tell you. Brilliant!

present.jpg Perfection.

‘Twas a beautiful, sunny day…

IN FREAKING DECEMBER! What the hell is wrong with you, Texas? Why must you torture me!? Do you ever give me cold days in summer? NO!  Even if it rains, it’s still hot. So what with all the warm days in winter? I need my cold. Please give me winter, please! Spring and summer are just around the corner and you can warm up all you want then. Just leave winter ALONE! Thank you.
Ok, rant over.

Pee Pees and Poopies in the Bidey

Thursday morning I go get Monster J out of his crib and put him in his highchair to eat breakfast.

Monster J: Mommy. Mommy. Moommmmyyyy!

Me: Baaabbbbyyyy!

Monster J: Mommy! Bidey! (as in diapey – diaper) Mommy! Pee pees! (as in his diaper is full of pee)

Me: Okay, Baby. Just a minute.

He gets his sippy-cup of milk then I take him for a diaper change. I put him back in his highchair to eat breakfast and he finishes.

Monster J: *waves his arm furiously at me to tell me “all-done” as in he wants down* Mommy. Pay. Pay. MOMMY! PAY! (play)

Me: Okay, Baby. Just a second.

I take him out of the highchair and off he goes… paying.

(about 5 minutes later)

Monster J: Mommy! Mommmyyyy! Bidey! Bidey! Poopies! Mommy! (as in he wants yet another diaper change because he has a poopy diaper)

Eek! It’s time for this already? I thought I had a few more months at least. I guess it’s a good thing he’s telling me that he has pee pees or poopies in his bidey, though. Maybe that means it won’t be so bad. Right? Right! Someone’s getting a potty for Christmas then.

A dagger through the heart.

Me: *drinking Dr. Pepper*

Monster J: Mommy! Juuu! Juuu! Mommy Juuu!!!! (juice)

Me: No Baby, this is Mommy’s juice. It’s not for you.

Monster J: Mommy Juuu!!! Peeeeeeez Mommy! (Please)

Me: *melts* Ok one little sip, that’s it.

Monster J: *takes drink* Tenk Tyuu!! (Thank you)

Me: *melts again*

I think it I liked it better when he couldn’t talk. At least it was easier to say no and stick to it, anyway.

Ladies – Hear Me Out

With Christmas fast approaching, there will be hoards of people shopping which means lots of women and kids using the public bathrooms. This is me BEGGING and PLEADING all of you to PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE respect your fellow bathroom users.

I can nearly guarantee you will not get some unspeakable ass disease by sitting on the toilet. If you don’t believe me you can read it for  yourself here. That guy’s got a PhD so you know he’s got all the answers.

If you still don’t believe either one of us and you must hover, please wipe the seat after you and/or your kids are done. Or you can use one of those nifty paper seat liners and your ass will be just fine.

I promise! Really!

Title – Mom

Special Skills:

  • Personal Chef √
  • Taxi Driver √
  • Singer √
  • Dental Hygenist √
  • Jungle Gym √
  • Personal Nurse √
  • Professional Book Reader √
  • Tutor √
  • Ass-Wiper √
  • Piggy Bank √
  • Packing Mule ?

Today Monster J and I made an impromtu trip to the mall – shocking, I know – to do some light Christmas shopping. I didn’t have the stroller with me, so I rented one of those cool kiddy krusier thingys. We do our shopping, then it’s time to go home for lunch. Shit. No stroller means I have to CARRY EVERYTHING to the car. So here’s how it goes down:

right shoulder – purse and diaper bag

right hip – baby

right hand – keys

left arm – 4 shopping bags

left hand – coffee

left ear – cell phone

Sweet Jeebus. Someone please smack me next time I get the bright idea to go to the mall by myself with no stroller. Ugh.

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